Stronger Together

It was Mother’s Day, 2020. The one mile loop in our small community carried an unusual sight - a parade of cars - which had nothing to do with Mothers Day. Right in the middle of the pandemic in May, the long line of cars, bumper to bumper, each carrying banners thanking doctors, healthcare professionals and scientists for their incredible contribution during the deadly pandemic which had been creating havoc worldwide as well as in all our lives. Some cars were decorated with balloons, confetti and ribbons, with kids peeking out of the open sunroofs, waving and honking as they passed each doctor’s home. In the unprecedented times, when covid was etching its place in history, storming in unannounced, and leaving behind death, destruction and devastation in its wake, this was our show of solidarity as a community, our safe way to express gratitude.

While the news media was filled with stories about losses of life to the illness and morbid statistics, we were cooped up in our homes praying for those affected, and counting our blessings. We were aware that some of those that were spared the illness, or the loss of a loved one to covid, were affected in other ways like isolation, depression, loss of livelihood, or separation from friends and family, not being able to travel in emergencies, and frontline workers having to deal with the elusive disease, being overworked, stressed and fatigued. This parade to thank healthcare workers, and other similar ones with teachers, firefighters, and community members driving by for birthday wishes, were creative ways to pull our community together during these extraordinary times. Gratitude and community were two elements that got many of us past the ghastly tornado that was the year 2020. 

Our community reminds me of a story from Malcolm Gladwell’s “Outliers”. In the 1950s when heart attacks were an epidemic, and a leading cause of death in men under sixty-five, a small town in Pennsylvania hills called Roseto exhibited outlier statistics. In Roseto, virtually no one under the age of fifty-five had died of a heart attack or had heart disease, and for men above sixty-five, the rate was half of the rest of the US. On further investigation, they realized the secret of Roseto wasn’t diet or exercise or genes or location, or even the Italian wines the immigrants in that community consumed. They figured it was the community that contributed to Roseto health and wellness. Gladwell writes, “[The medical establishment/researchers] had to look beyond the individual. They had to understand the culture...[the social connections, the community]. They had to appreciate the idea that the values of the world we inhibit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are”.

During covid times, while following social distancing guidelines, it lightens one's heart, and lessens the worry or anxiety if one may have, to wave at a neighbor during an evening walk, or to stop by to chat for a few minutes and enquire about each other's well-being. It is a comforting feeling to know that there are supportive people close by. Gladwell’s Rosetoans similarly stopped by to chat in Italian, or cook for one another in their backyards. “They counted twenty-two civic organizations in a town of under two thousand”. In our small community of under two hundred people, we have more than ten group activities/clubs. To name a few, there is a book club, a dog owner’s group, a poker players group, an art club, a hiking group, multiple dance groups, a football fan group and a faith based chant group.

At the peak of covid, we joined together as a community to form our own covid response efforts and raise funds to support other local communities in need. At the time when there was a scarcity of masks, some people from the art club and the faith based group sewed cloth masks and donated to the local hospitals, life care facilities and other facilities in need. Since covid lockdown started, our community faith group opened a daily call for a group Vishnu Sahasranama chant, which has helped many participants be grounded during the difficult covid times. People find peace in their religion and spirituality during this difficult pandemic, and it was a double blessing for members to be able to attend a session using a conference number from the safety of their homes, every day for over nine months now.

Beyond the actual illness, covid is also responsible for causing depression due to social distancing loneliness. We have been fortunate to not have to suffer that isolation. During summer, the hiking group organized some hikes, which was a safe way to socialize in an outdoor setting. Dog owners have been lucky as covid was not found to affect dogs, and walks with dogs have been therapeutic as well as a good social outlet. Necessity is the mother of invention. The poker group in our community found some great websites and software to be able to play online within a group setting. The Book Club met on zoom to discuss the multiple books read during the pandemic. This group also discussed the latest research on covid and vaccines. It was a pleasant surprise for the football fans group as American Football ran its full course, with few disruptions due to covid so far. And the icing on the cake was a very enthusiastic member of our community who organized games on whatsapp and zoom, and also a very special Christmas family gift game called “You are Elfed” to stay in touch and keep everyone together during tough times. 

Though I don’t see ourselves as Malcolm Gladwell’s Roseto outliers - I am sure there are plenty other close-knit communities like ours - I do feel we are blessed to share this camaraderie and support, especially during covid times when we are stuck close to our homes. I do believe, while some aspects of a community develop organically, building a strong community needs effort, interest, participation and the enthusiasm of community members to organize events such as the car parade as a show of gratitude and solidarity. I am very grateful that some of the patterns Gladwell saw in Roseto exist in ours, which instills a stronger future outlook for the people in our community.