A Life Well Lived

This winter when my almost 90, otherwise strongly independent and self-reliant Aunt, Mrs. Medha Bhide, defied all odds and beat covid, I was reminded of the lady I received at the airport 6-7 years ago. We got caught in traffic and were late picking her up. From far, she looked frail, wearing the metal back brace, which she called “chilkhat” (body armour), over her Indian saree. When we reached closer, she had already managed to get her luggage and while waiting for us, in her strong voice, struck a conversation with the staff. She may have looked physically frail, but no, sir, it didn’t take long to realize how strong she was from within! We were blessed to spend the month with this coffee loving, full of life, willing to try everything new, kind of lady.

As a child I was a little intimidated, maybe even a little scared of my Aunt Medhu mavshi's sparkling kitty eyes. But soon as I became old enough to engage with her, I saw the depth and the love in those eyes. She seemed like a coconut - with the hard shell on the outside, but soft, pure, sweet on the inside. Her life was about everyone around her; she spared no one with the overflow of affection, with the countless thoughtful and selfless deeds and acts. She pulled people together and stood by everyone in their hour of need. So it was very satisfying to see her large extended family stand by her side, and go above and beyond, in her hour of need.

Last summer when I read an article about Sabudana khichadi in the New York Times, she came to mind. No one made sabudana khichadi like she did! Of course there were multiple delicacies and sweets she made from scratch at home. But it is hard to forget the last time I met her. She had great difficulty moving around due to osteoporosis and frail bones. So I was surprised to see she made the sabudana by herself before we arrived. She said, “I still cook for myself at times, so this wasn’t a big deal”. 

She was an Arts and Crafts teacher. She introduced me to cross-stitch and “kashida”. I was reminded of her when I read about Steve Jobs’ obsession with the quality of the things unseen. Like Jobs cared for details invisible to the user, her work was tidy front and back. In her living room hung a cross-stitch artwork of Pt. Nehru, with a bouquet of roses, that she created from scratch from a picture. The uncanny likeness made it appear like a photo or a print. It was a proud testament of an award she had received. And not all of her craft was decorative. Others, like the designer sweaters she has knitted for so many of us, have left her warmth with us. Physical discomfort never stopped her from being productive. Until her very last days she continued working on a set for a new grandson.

Abraham Lincoln said “It isn’t the years in your life but the life in years that count”. Her Life had the years and the life! Due to her positive spirit, strong will power and a sense of purpose to do for others, she filled her life and that of others with joy. Though Medhu mavshi is no longer with us, her memories will always be with us. She is the epitome of a “Life Well Lived” !

 

A life well lived is a precious gift

Of hope and strength and grace,

From someone who has made our world

A brighter, better place

It’s filled with moments, sweet and sad

With smiles and sometimes tears,

With friendships formed and good times shared

And laughter through the years.

A life well lived is a legacy

Of joy and pride and pleasure,

A living, lasting memory

Our grateful hearts will treasure

- Author Unknown